|
What
You Owe Your Family
If You Have a Preliminary Diagnosis of Alzheimers by Lisa Nachmias Davis, Esq.[*] It is scary to be told that you are suffering memory loss, and worse, that you may have Alzheimer's. The "A" word is probably as frightening as the "C" word, cancer. It is natural that you will be thinking of your own mortality and fearing the changes that may lie ahead for you. I'm not a clergyman, philosopher, or therapist. I can't help you with the cosmic questions such as "why me" or "what does it all mean" or "what's on the other side." But as a Connecticut lawyer, I can tell you this: if you love your family, then while you still can, you owe it to them to do what you can to make it easier for them to care for you and to deal with the financial issues that may arise. Here are some practical steps you can take. FIRST: Health Care Advance Directives. Sign the documents that your loved ones will need in order to make health care decisions for you when you cannot act for yourself. This means a health care representative. You can also designate a conservator in the event that you become incapable and the health care directive is not enough. This can save time and money. Fortunately, there are forms online and you don't need a notary OR a lawyer. The website CTElderLaw.org has various options, including a form that includes end-of-life instructions and a form that is just for the representative. (Click on "power of attorney and end-of-life issues.) Don't pick just one person as your agent: make sure there is a back-up plan if the person you prefer isn't there for you.means It's also OK to pick several people to "act severally," that is independently of each other. Then they can work out who does what. SECOND: Financial Durable Power of Attorney. It will be hard enough for your family to deal with all the financial matters on their own, without the extra burden of and expense of going to probate court to be appointed your financial conservator. If you sign a durable power of attorney, you decide who will act for you. If you don't want to lose control now, fine: let your attorney hold the document until the time comes, or ask about a "springing power." This is a link to the current (2022) plain vanilla short form Connecticut statutory power of attorney, the only change I made being to add a clause that allows your agent to set up a "pooled trust" if it makes sense to get Medicaid to pay for long-term care at home. Unfortunately this one does require a notary plus a witness (notary can be the second witness). It's a good idea to sign several copies. Providing this standard form, that is available elsewhere, is NOT giving you legal advice and does NOT make you my client!! It's best to include not only a spouse but also someone else to act "severally" and also to include backups. This form is pretty simple and it's still a good idea to go to an attorney to talk about various special issues that aren't covered, like gifts. THIRD: Get timely legal advice. (1) If you are married: advise your spouse to get expert legal help before spending too much on your care. The law provides MANY protections for your spouse's financial well-being, but it's important to get good advice before it's too late. The more money is saved, the better your care can be. (2) Don't make major gifts (over $1,000) without consulting an attorney. Gifts may impact Medicaid eligibility and can have other serious drawbacks. (3) Most important: make sure that any attorney you consult has your interests at heart first and foremost. You may love your children and others, but you have to look out for yourself, and your spouse if you have one, first. And (4) DON"T use a "Medicaid specialist" without seeing an attorney. |
||
©Lisa Nachmias Davis, Davis O'Sullivan & Priest, LLC, |